


this is home

by Hazazel



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gift Fic, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-05 00:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20479964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazazel/pseuds/Hazazel
Summary: Keiji wakes up early that day. Sunlight filters in through the transparent curtains, still tinted pink, and the window is wet with dew. He likes it here – it’s Issei’s place, after all, and he rarely if ever gets to see one of his boyfriends up close.





	this is home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CheetahLeopard2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheetahLeopard2/gifts).

> hello and welcome to rare pair hell  
matt is a ship created by the wonderful Leo who this fic is a gift to  
hope you like it !! don't forget to leave kudos and maybe even comment !!

Keiji wakes up early that day. Sunlight filters in through the transparent curtains, still tinted pink, and the window is wet with dew. He likes it here – it’s Issei’s place, after all, and he rarely if ever gets to see one of his boyfriends up close. They’re all so lucky to live in Miyagi together while he’s in Tokyo far away, and he cherishes the moments he can spend with them in person.

Issei is still asleep besides him, curled up on a futon. He insisted on sleeping there and not in his bed with Keiji, who can kind of see why. Issei’s long limbs are in disarray, the blanket is far off on the floor; even though he has extraordinarily managed to not end up there as well, Issei is inches away from an admittedly short fall.

“Wake up, sleepy-bug,” Keiji whispers after looking at the clock. “The sun’s already up.”

No sign of life. He didn’t expect any and he’s fine that way, he’s used to getting up before everyone and he usually needs his alone time before he can even think to socialise, but Keiji thought being sappy and watching his boyfriend sleep would be… too much.

Oh well. He opens his Discord app, but there are no new messages since he checked off yesterday (or rather this morning… he really didn’t sleep much), so he opens Instagram and scrolls aimlessly through his feed. Satori posted a new edit, a desert landscape with the sky turned purple, and it looks beautiful. He leaves a comment, and closes the app. He checks the clock – only six am, not much time has passed since he woke up. Issei is still sound asleep, but something draws Keiji’s attention to him. His lips are pressed tight together, and his fists are balled at his side.

A nightmare. Keiji doesn’t dream, and doesn’t know how to react – should he wake Issei up ? Should he even touch him, or would that make it worse ? He anxiously waits, sitting on the edge of the bed, until finally, Issei opens his eyes and draws in a shuddering breath. And another one. And another one.

“Issei ? You – are you ok ?” Keiji asks, voice small. “You’re not moving.”

Issei blinks, but doesn’t move – sleep paralysis is something Keiji’s briefly heard of but never experienced, and he grabs Issei’s hand until finally, finally, his boyfriend grabs back.

“Sorry,” is the first thing he says, but Keiji shakes his head and answers, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.”

“I dreamed of… I think it was a memory.”

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Keiji says, because he knows that talking to early about something that sounds traumatising would only make things worse.

“Yeah,” Issei whispers, “it’s probably fake anyway,” and he sounds heartbroken. Keiji doesn’t know what to do, so he pulls on Issei’s hand until he gets the hint and climbs on the bed with him. Huddled close together, the morning light seems less harsh, the night less dark, and Keiji revels in the smell of freshly made laundry that always seems to linger on Issei’s bed, and in his boyfriend’s embrace.

The phone rings quietly on the bedside table, and they both startle. Issei shows Keiji the preview of the message – a series of hearts, sent by Yuuji, and another message comes in to tell them both he’s going on his morning jog and if they want anything from the bakery he’ll gladly grab a cheesecake or two for when they see each other. Surprisingly enough, Satori is awake and answers next.

[satHORRIBLE] waaaaa

[satHORRIBLE] cant believe keijis at isseis place

[satHORRIBLE] i wanna see keiji too waaaa why do y’all have to meet up without me

[yuuuuuuuji] stop crying satori… you’re making me wanna puke

[satHORRIBLE] r00d

[yuuuuuuuji] we’ll all see each other tomorrow ok ? just hang in there

[satHORRIBLE] yeah… words of wisdom

[mattsundere] oya ? upsetti spaghetti satori ?

[yuuuuuuuji] please never speak again

Keiji chuckles, shaking his head at Issei, and dropping his phone outside the bed to better burrow in the warm embrace of the strong arms holding him. There’s no better feeling than knowing he’s safe, paranoia pushed back to the darkest corners of his mind where it can be easily ignored, and he sends a prayer to whatever gods hear him that the day continues uneventfully.

“Don’t fall back asleep,” Issei warns after Keiji doesn’t move for a few minutes, soaking up the quiet atmosphere. “We have to meet Yuuji soon.”

“I’m on holiday, I don’t _have_ to do a morning jog,” Keiji yawns, sleep crawling back into his voice. “I can just lay here, eat pastries with two of my boyfriends and go back to sleep.”

“Or, you could get up, get dressed, come on a healthy morning jog with me and move a little.”

There’s tightness in Issei’s voice and Keiji immediately caves in. Moving will do them both a world of good.

* * *

Yuuji is going to implode. He’s only seen Keiji once, once ! And now he’s seeing him again, in the wee hours of the morning, when he’ll still be soft and warm and cozy. And they’ll jog, and eat pastries, objectively two of the best activities ever. And they’ll cuddle afterwards in his yard, where he’s stacked the swing set with cushions and dried fruit. Yuuji is training hard ! He’s gonna make his boyfriends proud.

He’s out of breath by the time he reaches Issei’s house, having run way too fast, and he sees Issei shivering next to a much smaller figure.

“Keiji !” he yells, his lungs expiring soon after. He scrambles forward for the last few steps, falling into his boyfriend’s open arms, and he immediately inhales as hard as he can, filling his nose with the scent of Keiji, Keiji, Keiji. Warm and soft as predicted. Issei’s arms shake a little when he circles them around both his boyfriends, and Yuuji sends a questioning look to Keiji, who answers with a flat mouth and a shake of his head.

“Jog ! Jog ! Let’s go !” Yuuji says before he can start thinking too hard about it, waving his pastry bag up high like a banner. They run together for several minutes, the time it takes to go back to Yuuji’s house, and they all sprawl down on the swing set like a bunch of jellyfish.

“Croissant for Keiji, milkbread for Yuuji, and nothing for me because I have Celiac,” Issei says, stealing the bag from his grip, and Yuuji is proud to wiggle the box of dried fruit from under a cushion. “Sweetiepie !” Issei exclaims, “I knew you loved me.”

“You say this but tomorrow you’ll cheat on us with Pink Hair,” Yuuji playfully says. He doesn’t expect Issei to freeze up. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s ok,” Issei chokes up. “It’s just a nightmare I had tonight.”

Yuuji hums, but doesn’t answer. “Just a nightmare”, Issei said about the sleep paralysis, “just a nightmare”, he said about the bullying in his elementary school. Yuuji doesn’t believe in nightmares when they hurt this much.

The rest of the morning is spent quietly rocking on the swing set, eating and drinking water (which Yuuji’s mother brings at ten, because they literally won’t move under any circumstances, cuddling is much more important). Around twelve, they get up in frightening unison and walk towards the kitchen to take their midday meds, and maybe perhaps have lunch. 

* * *

“Issei ?”

He feels his hands shake slightly around his fork and knife, and has to take a moment to breathe. He’s put his feet under the feet of his chair and the pressure is grounding him a little, but… that’s not enough and he can feel the darkness that lurks in the corners of his mind encroaching on the brightness his boyfriends bring.

“Issei ?” a voice whispers. “Issei ?”

He shouldn’t be sad. He’s with two of the people that mean the most to him and he’ll see the third tomorrow, he should be elated - how often does he get to see Keiji ? Haven’t the four of them been together only once ? He has no right to be like this. He has no right to spoil their fun and ruin their day. He-

A hand shakes his arm and he violently startles. He hadn’t realised people were actually talking to him, too used to his name being whispered by the wind.

“Issei, love, what’s going on ?” Keiji is looking at him with actual fear in his eyes and he doesn’t know - he _doesn’t know_ that those exact words are what _she_ used after he _saw_ her with that man, he _doesn’t know-_

“What’s going on ?” Yuuji repeats, and this time Issei finds it in him to answer, “Bad day. I should…”

“Let’s go to my room,” Yuuji immediately says. “Mom, don’t worry, I’ll clean everything tonight !”

“Nonsense,” Terushima-san says, “go have fun, boys !”

Issei feels like he’s in a dream state, or a bad video game. He controls his body from afar, counting the number of steps up Yuuji’s stairs, relieved to find out there are still thirty-three of them. He still doesn’t breathe as he goes up. Once the door closes, Issei falls face down on the bed. It smells like Yuuji, which is comforting, but not enough to chase his dark thoughts. He stays like this for a while, not listening to what Keiji and Yuuji are saying in the background, their voices no more than a whisper. Eventually, Issei feels a hand on his shoulder, and he raises his head enough to look at Keiji’s worried face. He asks if everything is ok, and since Issei really, really doesn’t want to talk about it, he nods.

“Issei, please, we want to help,” Yuuji says.

“You can’t, not really,” he wants to answer, but then he realises that’s not true, so instead he says, “I’d love distractions. And a hug.”

His two boyfriends immediately pile up on him, a tangle of laughter, and only the absence of Satori makes this moment less than perfect.

* * *

Finally ! Satori is on his way to the city center, he only has two bus stops left and he’ll see his fantastic boyfriends ! He can’t wait. His phone beeps constantly from the stream of messages on their group chat but he’s too tense to look. A nasty voice whispers in his ear that they’ve had so much fun without him, would they still want him there ? Since the number of poles on this street is uneven, does that mean they secretly hate him ?

He has to shake the thoughts off, he knows they’re not true. Years of bullying aren’t erased by a single good relationship however – though it is fantastic, he’s been in therapy a year only, and it shows. Sometimes he envies Keiji’s composed demeanor, and Yuuji’s incredible energy. Issei too has a little something, this quiet aura around him, and Satori… he’s the weirdo, isn’t he.

The bus stops, finally, and he gets out. He looks at his phone to check the time – he has ten minutes to find the cinema. They’re gonna see some dumb action movie that they’ll laugh really hard at, and then they’ll have lunch somewhere fun. Satori resists the urge to drop by the popcorn store, he knows the noise gets on Keiji’s nerves. Soon, the cinema comes into view, and so do the people waiting in the chill air. He immediately recognises Issei’s tall figure and Yuuji’s dyed hair, Keiji’s smaller figure between the two, and he waves frantically. They see him and wave back (take that, fucking voice in his head), and he is enveloped in his boyfriends’ warm embrace at last.

The first thing he notices when he raises his head is Issei’s eyes, circled with dark like he hasn’t slept in days, and Satori knows he must have had nightmares again. And judging by the worried looks the others shoot him, he’s probably the only one to know exactly what’s going on.

They buy their tickets and make way for the back of the room, which is pretty empty anyway. Yuuji, like the demon he is (no, not like that, shut up, Satori says to the voice), gets out four ice tea cans from his bag, and passes them around. Soon the pre-movie ads start, and they watch in silence until the movie is over.

Going out of the movie theater, Satori feels something he hasn’t felt in a while. His eyes start… forcibly looking up, and refuse to come down no matter how hard he tries. It’s subtle at first but soon, he can’t even walk in a straight line because his eyes won’t move. Antipsychotics tend to have that effect, the therapist had warned, but he didn’t expect it to be this bad…

Tears of frustration gather at the corner of his eyes. He’d waited so long to see Keiji, to see them all, and now he has to go back home and lay down because his fucking eyes won’t work. Keiji is the first one to notice Satori isn’t doing well, and he takes his hand silently, waiting for him to explain what’s wrong.

“It’s my eyes,” Satori almost whines. “Go have lunch without me, I’ll meet you after I’ve had my meds and a nap.”

He can almost feel them exchange looks behind his back, and then Issei says, “Don’t be a dumbass, we’re coming with you. We’ll grab sandwiches on the way.”

This time Satori does cry, relief flooding through him. His vision blurs as tears roll down his cheeks, and he blindly reaches out for his boyfriends, who all gather around him and help him sit down at the bus stop.

The mindless chatter really does wonder for his nerves. Eyes closed because it hurts to have them stuck looking up, Satori listens to his boyfriends commenting the finale of the adult’s Nationals, soothed by the sound of their voices. They quiet up when the bus arrives, and then, it’s another half an hour of Keiji holding his hand in silence, Issei and Yuuji sitting down in front of them. As soon as they’re home, which is thankfully empty, Satori pads to the kitchen and grabs two Lepticur pills from the box on the counter. Then, he walks to the living room, where the others have started arranging a bed out of the plaids on the couch. It’s not big enough for all of them, so Issei, who is by far the tallest, sits on the floor between Yuuji’s legs.

“Guys…” Satori says after a while. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Same,” the others answer in unison.

He doesn’t say much after that, dozing off quickly, a tendency he had even without the meds that make him sleepy. Yuuji is playing with his hair and he doesn’t regret not putting on gel this morning. Being petted is worth it.

In an hour or so his eyes will have calmed down, and they’ll eat lunch, and they’ll chat, and Satori… and they all will feel a little more at home.


End file.
